My Friends,

 

It sounds like Terry Johnson will need to get a permission slip signed to attend the Super Bowl, if the Bears make it that far, as Judge John J. Moran today ordered 24-hour home confinement for his recent troubles and further ruled he can’t leave the state without court permission.

Part of the judge’s order also says he can only leave home to travel to work and that somebody else must drive him, opening up an intriguing promotional opportunity for the Bears. Like singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” at Wrigley or dropping the ceremonial first puck at a Wolves game, maybe the Bears can hire “Celebrity Drivers” to chauffeur Terry back and forth to Halas Hall. The first name that came to my mind was Rabih Abdullah, whose skills behind the wheel came to notice back in 2003 when the SUV he was driving collided with another vehicle near Wilson before speeding off and rolling down an embankment near Tower Road. Never let it be said that traffic obstacles will keep Terry from practice with Abdullah at the wheel.

Or how about Lions coach Joe Cullen, although he might decline, as the judge went on to state “No stops. Not for a drink. Not for a sandwich. Not even for a drive-through.” Making Wendy’s a no-go might make it tough for Joe to accept.

Lactose Intolerant nominated Al Cowlings. A.C. already has experience evading roadblocks and shuttling around people carrying guns, so he’s a natural. Maybe the Bears could convince one of the local Ford dealers who provide those courtesy cars with the dealer plates in their parking lot to dig up an old white Bronco, and A.C. can reminisce about old times with Terry crouched down in the back seat.

The possibilities are endless. 

LBF

12/22/2006