My Friends,

 

Our foes were distracted by the scent of Pheasant Paprikash wafting from the South Lot as they approached a date seeking Bear as their quarry. Maybe it was the lack of cream in the delicious bacon and onion-based sauce prepared by Lactose Intolerant, but whatever it was, these French Hunters were seriously confused until well into the third quarter, so much so that halftime came and it felt like the right thing to do was have Rex Grossman take a seat on the bench after he had led the Bears to a 21-3 lead. With the offense humming and the defense allowing only two first downs in the half, the timing was perfect to give Rex a break and find out whether Brian Griese could hand off.

 

And then the bottom fell out. In a span of less than 12 minutes Tampa put 28 points up on the board, and the Bears went from cruising to clenching. The truth is that Rex had little to do with the Bears’ fourth quarter collapse, but put in the position of needing a late score in regulation to salt away victory, Grossman came up decidedly empty. The Bears final fourth quarter drive, which began on their own 10 with 77 seconds left and should have been sponsored by Summer’s Eve, didn’t help, but Lovie Smith was determined to play for overtime and the best thing that could have happened to our guys did. They lost the toss, and the defense wound up pinning the Bucs deep after a Tampa fumble. Even though Robbie Gould missed another short kick for the OT win, the defense stepped up twice more before Grossman drove the Bears to the eventual winning field goal.

 

And now the Bears M.A.S.H. unit moves into full swing. With two meaningless games left and a host of starters nicked up, it’s even money whether we’ve seen the Bears final regular season victory. Among the injured, Nathan Vasher, Todd Johnson and John Tait didn’t even suit up today, while Adewale Ogunleye and Charles Tillman both spent time on the trainers’ sideline table as this afternoon’s game progressed. It looked like Ogunleye was getting a right groin wrapped as he dropped trou in the middle of several members (he said member) of the training staff, while Tillman’s lower back received a thorough going over while the Bucs were driving to their first touchdown. At this point in the season it’s hard to find any team that’s healthy, but considering the Bears won’t play another meaningful game for four weeks now would be a good time to rest anybody with a nagging ache.

 

Except for the final weekend, when the Bears meet a suddenly resurgent rival that currently finds themselves placed eighth in the NFC, with a real chance at a postseason berth if they can just beat the Vikings at home this Thursday night.

 

And wouldn’t it be sweet to play spoilers for those guys?

 

Happy New Year, indeed!

 

LBF

12/17/2006